It actually works until all those friends have to leave for a week and deal with the reason why they also had to go and build big lives for themselves. One that included a lot of strong friendships. Honestly, we’re just very different people and I knew from an early age that, in order to experience globs of closeness and intimacy, I would have to outsource and build a big life for myself. It would start with a flurry of activity in December-festive parties, candy canes and gingerbread desserts, blasting a charlie brown christmas while blissfuly soaking in the tub (always skipping the one song that’s sung by children who sound like they escaped from a mental institution)-and I would start to actually think/delude myself into being like, “Wait, I actually love the holidays?” But then, bloop, the activity would stop and all the fun distractions would evaporate and suddenly my bones would turn to crushed ice when I’d realize all that’s left was just me and my flop of a family. All i want for christmas is a healthy shift in perspective, tbh.įor years, it felt like I was the saddest and drunkest person to ever exist during the holidays.
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